Adjusting
by Interesting when Alive
Summary: Vignettes set after ROTS. Anakin affected so many people's lives and each find it hard to adjust after everything that happened.
1. R2 DT I

Sometimes R2 DT thinks back on how Anakin left him standing next to Padme. He doesn't understand why he didn't come back for them and why he never saw his best friend again.

Then he meets a cyborg, and he discovers that it isn't really a cyborg as he has done a scan and it reveals that it is more man than machine, and it treats him like an equal. He thinks he hasn't been treated like an equal since...

Since...

And so he starts to pay attention to how it moves, how it clenches his right fist, it's speech patterns, how it fixes things with that intuitive understanding and so he starts to think that the cyborg is a he, and that he is...

...not his best friend as he doesn't understand how the man that fixes everything hasn't fixed himself or how that life support hasn't been altered more to suit his needs. He, like so many others, just doesn't understand.

But he still catches the cyborg ,who he hears is called Darth Vader, looking at him more than is normal.


	2. Obi Wan I

_This is a new piece were I will be exploring, through drabbles, how Obi Wan copes with life on his own after coming to Tatooine_

 _Please read and review :) thanks_

He can sense a shift in the weather, this newly acquired skill of being able to sense when a sandstorm was coming has potentially saved his life more times than he can remember. He stands up and looks far into the distance where he sees a desolate landscape in which no trees sway and far, far out a ship coming lower to land. He retreats quickly back into the house which for the moment he calls his home.

The house, which though probably never a great beauty, is now nearly derelict, the roof has caved in and so he has put blue plastic sheets in order to keep the worst of the sand out (for which there is plenty). He thinks in the future he should replace the roof but he has found that since the battle (for which he tries not to think about) he has not had much energy for such things. The bottom of the stairs is made out of books and he finds that when he occasionally replaces them he will stumble upon an interesting piece of literature so as a result he would often sit there, without the distraction of a comlink (who would he talk to now), and reads until his eyes become tired and he finally falls asleep. He thinks how much Anakin had liked stories.


	3. Ahsoka I

Ahsoka is making coffee and pancakes when she hears that Anakin Skywalker is dead. She thinks for what feels like the millionth time how she doesn't understand how Anakin, the greatest of all the Jedi, could now be dead. It doesn't make any sense.

In fact it is perfectly nonsensical.

Luck of the draw she wonders, cruel twist of fate?

She remembers how he had once said to her that everything happens for a reason. She doesn't understand the reason behind this; she doubts that few people do.

When she first left the Jedi Order and rented a flat of her own, she would often think that Anakin would be in the kitchen making coffee or blueberry pancakes . She still sometimes thinks that will happen now even though she hasn't seen him for a year and the Holo News proclaims that he is dead.

She thinks how it was not supposed to be this way. She thinks how he was supposed to bring balance to the force.


	4. Obi Wan II

Every five days he washes (there is not enough water to do it more) and holding up the cloth in the bath he squeezes the water over his now tired limbs and tries to get the worst of the desert out from underneath his fingernails. He thinks that the desert, like it once did to the planet and like the war did to Anakin, is slowly creeping into him whether he wants it to or not. He thinks that he now knows why Anakin hated the sand.

He said that it got everywhere. He said it was gritty and course.

But still Anakin would cope better then he does in these circumstances as he knew the sound of the desert.

Lying back in the shallow bath and watching the blue plastic roof ripple above his head, he wonders what has become of that shattered man he left in the burning shores of Mustafar. He knows that whatever has is something dark and twisted, and he thinks that if that is the case, it is like the dark and twisted body that he left burning. Even the ash surrounding him was burning. He tries (unsuccessfully it seems) to not think about such things as it only depresses him and makes the already broken man inside him break just a little more.

He wonders what happened to that selfless boy Qui Gon found on this desolate planet.


	5. Obi Wan III

He remembers laughter, a woman who kissed all of the parts of his body which are now brown from the heat of the two suns bearing down upon them, a woman who is now dead and a man who is now as good as dead. Occasionally he will start to recite stories to himself though he finds that they always get darker. He is still yet to work out whether that is because how he is now or whether this is because the stories he knows were always this dark. Something tells him its the combination of the two.

The books Obi Wan finds in the house become half his world. On occasions he will sit at the bottom of the stairs, hunched over a book, and he will read about people who used to swim in rivers before Tatooine became a desert world, a slave girl who memorised precious jewels and objects, and a boy who used to be able to read peoples thoughts.

At times he will look up from the book he is reading, his eyes distant, and wonder how Anakin had first come to learn how to read. He wished he had asked him that question when they were still brothers. A brother should know that.

The books he would read occasionally had missing parts of the plot. He would find himself being reminded of how during the war he would come across a road which had a section missing, a town which no longer had a centre and a man who no longer had his limbs as he had cut them off.

He tries (unsuccessfully again) not to think about such things but finds that they have been etched into his mind, like his and a girl's name he used to love when he was a teenager are etched into a tree trunk.


	6. Ahsoka II

Whenever she sees rain she cannot help but be reminded of the time when Anakin sat out in the storm, wet to the bone and told her of the cave paintings of people swimming and how before coming to the Temple he had never seen rain.

She almost expects to see him standing in the rain but then she reminds herself that he is dead and it is useless to fantasise about him coming back. She doesn't even know where he died; some say on Corusant in the Temple others say Mustafar, though she doesn't understand why he would be on such a planet. She thinks back to the time when they were on Mustafar together and she remembers how much he hated that planet.

She remembers the rolling hills of ash and she thinks to herself how nothing can grow in such a place.

No, she tells herself, he cannot be on Mustafar. Anakin was always so vivacious, he could not have died in such a place.


	7. Civilian I

She remembers the time when in the darkest watches of the night when nearly all hope was lost, there came a rumour that each child and each adult would whisper into each others ears that the 'The Hero with No Fear' , Anakin Skywalker, was coming.

She remembers how he came flying in his silver star ship and how he fought and broke the blockade and how each village, town and city was freed from oppression. She remembers seeing him hooded in his dark cloak with his lightsaber flashing, stalking the dark streets, beckoning to his men. She remembers that when he looked at her she saw his blue stormy eyes that said he had lost everything.

But now the darkness and oppression is far worse for there are no Jedi to combat it and she, like so many people, thinks back to the time when the night seemed so dark and now thinks that the night now is far darker and will last far longer. There now comes a rumour that each child and each adult whisper into each others ears that Darth Vader is coming.

She sees the black star ship coming and sees him with his black coat and how darkness billows behind him, his blood-red lightsaber flashing, stalking the darker streets, beckoning to his men. He turns to look at her, she old before her time, and she sees his black expressionless mask and black expressionless eyes.

As he orders the death of her village she feels, no, she knows, that this is the hero that everyone loved who has lived long enough to become the villain.

As she is shot by one of the troopers she finds it sad that it has come to this.


	8. Beru I

It is a year before Beru hears the new that there is new Sith, she thinks that he is called Darth Vader. She cant be sure though as she only heard it the market when she was buying flour.

Ben Kenobi said a Sith killed Anakin, perhaps it is that one. She cant be sure though as she hasn't seen Ben for a year, Owen has made sure of that. She doesn't quite understand why he dislikes Ben so much, to her he looked like a kind, if broken (but then who wouldn't be) man. She hears that he is living in a once derelict house and that he puts blue plastic tarpaulin sheets in order to keep the sand out.

That's what the rumours are anyway.

Though she loves Luke with all her heart she sometimes wonders why he didn't take the boy in himself as he knew Anakin so much better that she ever did. She heard somewhere that they they have been described as brothers. Owen may be his step brother but, if the rumour is true, didn't his bond with Anakin transcend that?

She thinks to herself that perhaps Ben didn't want to have a living, breathing reminder of the brother he lost, or perhaps he didn't know how to raise a child.

Neither did she or Owen come to think of it, neither do most people.

At least, she supposes, she and Owen had a normal childhood. At least they weren't torn away from their parents at a young age.

Despite this she still cant figure why Ben would give Luke away.


	9. Ahsoka III

Ahsoka hears that the new Sith Lord, Darth Vader, is an ex Jedi though she still cannot comprehend what would want to make a Jedi turn to the Sith.

Greed, she supposes, lust for power, hatred.

She thinks back to Dooku and when she compares him to Vader she thinks that Dooku seems almost tame in comparison. They say Vader murdered all the younglings in the Temple, they say he turned against his own brother, they say he never listens to even the most desperate pleas for mercy, they say he is not really alive, they say darkness swirls around him. When Ahsoka casts her mind back she cannot think of any Jedi who is or who would do such thing.

One thing she knows for certain is that it is most definitely not Anakin.

Thats what she tells herself anyway.


	10. Beru II

She thinks she knows why Ben gave Luke to her and Owen. She thinks that he was scared for the fate of the boy if he lived with him; he must fear that he will be hunted down and killed by the Empire.

(But Jedi are not supposed to be scared, are they?)

Thats what she hears anyway.

Perhaps, she thinks, that he also wanted Luke to have a relatively normal childhood rather than living with a man who is now widely held as an outcast.

Yes, she thinks, that must be it.


	11. Obi Wan IV

One night he hears of a Sith named Darth Vader and when he first sees a picture of him he cant find it in himself to know who this person is, so different is it to the man he knew and loved. Everything about him doesn't fit the image in his head of the man he used to know, were once the face was so expressive, now there is only a black expressionless mask. He thinks (perhaps it is console himself or perhaps it is preserve the memory of Anakin) that the Anakin Skywalker he knew is dead. For a moment he does feel better but it is only for a moment as he now wishes that he had killed Darth Vader on Mustafar.

One of the reasons why he doesn't like to sleep at night is because he is haunted by that man with the golden eyes and golden hair who had killed the younglings at the temple. He dreams of how he had cut off this man's limbs and how afterwards how the fire had licked at his body like fire licks at newspaper. He thinks in the morning how much it must have hurt. When he was a boy his history teacher said that they used to burn heretics at the stake.

He remembers how he had once said to Anakin how dreams pass in times and he wonders whether this dream will pass. Something tells him this dream will not pass until he is dead and buried. When he cannot find any of the candles he thinks (only for a moment though) that he wants to be dead and buried, then he remembers the baby called Luke and the thought passes from his mind.

He wonders whether Anakin (if he is still alive) knows he has a son and a daughter and he wishes that he does (he doubt that he does though), but knows he for sure he doesn't want the Sith they call Darth Vader to track them down.


	12. Darth Vader I

He thinks how people used to say that a defining feature of Anakin Skywalker was his bravery (some called it recklessness) and his selflessness. People now say (behind closed doors) that a defining feature of Darth Vader is his brutality and his rage.

When he paces up with and down a star destroyer with his black cloak sweeping behind him he cannot help but notice how much the people fear him. He thinks back to the time when Palpatine said it was better to be feared than loved though at times he wishes it was the other way round.

He remembers when he had dreams about Padme, Obi Wan and even Ahsoka but now (even though three months have past) he only has dreams of scorching pain, fire licking at limbs, children that he killed at the Temple asking for his help, Padme with tears coursing down her cheeks and the child Padme never gave birth to.

He never admits they are nightmares but he still tosses and turns and wakes up in a cold sweat every night.

He thinks that Sith are not supposed to experience this, Sith are supposed to be all powerful, Sith are supposed to be able to stop people from dying and yet he does, he isn't and he can't.

He remembers how Obi Wan used to naively say dreams pass in time and he knows for certain these ones never will as they are etched into his mind like the patterns are etched into the japor snippet he gave to Padme.


	13. Anakin I

For once he was pleased that no one he had met on this planet had recognised him. It was not because he was caked in mud and other people's blood (he had long become used to the smell and feel of dry blood). It was more because, like so often now, despite the exterior of fearlessness, behind the dark robes, is a man shaking with fear.

It is even worse when he is on leave (he no longer has a strategy to plan or a battle to win or a ship to fly) and when he comes home to Padme (she just doesn't understand). He doesn't tell anyone (there would be too much to tell and too much to relive) and so he just stays silent.

Padme tries to coax it out of him but in an attempt to avoid the question he kisses her on her lips and then for a while the shaking of his hands stop and only the smell of her skin, her hair and her kisses are real (though he knows that as soon as this is over the shaking will resume).

Looking up he sees for a moment a flash of blue and white head tails and orange skin disappear behind one of the buildings and for a instant he thinks it is Snips (though deep down he know it isn't) and for a while he stands there lost in thought as if by thinking it will bring Snips back (he knows it won't though).

So he stands there for a while until Rex comes over and asks him of he is OK to which he says he is (though both know he isn't) and if he wants to come to medbay to get cleaned up (he does as it mean he will to be able to try and scrub the experience away) and so they walk away.

Even after he has scrubbed the mud, blood and the sight of the blue and white head tails away, like a ghost they linger on. The stain will never truly come out.


	14. Leia I

A girl appeared at the senate at the Winter Festival, dancing in a white dress. She was- what?- about seventeen years old. Daughter of the senator of Alderaan, Bail Organa, she has been brought up since childhood to look and behave like a princess. As she dances at the masquerade with an amused and care free smile and an ever so slightly bored expression on her face she soon attracts the looks of the surrounding people. Dancing and smiling and with her dark hair flowing she causes some of the onlookers to whisper to their neighbours that she reminds them of a beautiful, if slightly outspoken, girl who had been about - what? - sixteen when she danced in the blue dress at the Winter Festival with her dark hair flowing.

As Darth Vader looks on, cloaked in the shadows, he is also reminded of this girl and like many of the onlookers tells himself that it is a coincidence, nothing more, and so turns his back and stalks out of the room.


	15. Watto and Luke

A boy appears in a shop in Mos Espa, he is -what?- about thirteen years old and for a moment Watto, the Toydarian shop keeper, thinks that Anakin Skywalker has walked back into the shop. The boy has the same mop of blonde hair, same general facial features and the same startling blue eyes and as the boy picks up an engine Watto, now elderly and with greying hair, cannot help but be transported back thirty years.

But before Watto can ask who the boy is he is gone, and so Watto convinces himself that the resemblance is a coincidence, nothing more, as the boy is too different: he's too quiet, too shy, too gentle.

Yet still he hopes that if this is Anakin's son he will have a happier future than that tall, unsmiling ghost who called himself by that name.


	16. Ahsoka IV

_Set after Ahsoka finds out the truth about Darth Vader_

* * *

It took her her months to find out about that burned figure, taunt and black and broken, and now months later she wishes she had never started to uncover the truth: its so much better being kept in the dark. They've been saying that there is peace, the peace is here and yet war is here if you have the courage to look below the surface.

She remembers when she had been so injured that she could not turn her head towards him, but his white fingers slipped into her orange hand.

You will be alright

I know

There was a jedi once, he said, who when he was dying wanted to be carried back to Tattooine so that he could hear the wind and the desert and see the stars flickering above him.

When I was younger my friend used to say that she wanted to die amongst the stars.

Where is your friend now?

She is...she was in the war.

You're in the war too.

She does not know anything about him, despite being his apprentice for just under a year now. She realises that there is a shyness in him and her which is made more evident by them being alone. Then, she is gone and he is gone, and as she looks at him one last time she realises that she does not really know anything more now then she did before.


	17. Ahsoka and Lux

Lux comes into the kitchen to see her sitting hunched over the table. He cannot see her face or her arms that are tucked into her body, only her naked back and bare shoulders.

As he stands there, watching her quivering as she sits, he thinks that recently she is too often like this.

'Ahsoka'.

She moans and for a little while longer he stands watching her, and then, hesitantly, he places his bandaged hand on her bare shoulder.

'Ahsoka'.

She raises her head, her face is tear stained, her eye lashes matted.

'If you want to fuck me don't do that'.

'Ahsoka, who are you looking for?'

'Does it matter?'

He sits down opposite her and she raises her eyes to his.

'I do...I did love him'

'You don't love him, you adore him'.

'Please Lux, go away'.

'Don't tie yourself to some corpse you may never see again'.

'I don't'.

'After my mother died I learnt that if you take in someone else's poison- thinking it will cure them- it only kills you as well. Please Ahsoka, don't share the poison'.

'Go away'.

He stands up and walks out of the room, pausing by the doorway.

'Who is it?'

Ahsoka looks at him and says nothing.

'Its your former master isn't it?'

Ahsoka says nothing but looks away as a tear starts to roll down her cheek and Lux walks away.


End file.
